Something that was sent to me by Fiona, a friend from high school:
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
SAEED AL SAHAF (Iraqi Head of Information): The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. In fact, we do not even have a chicken.
HANS BLIX: We have reason to believe there may be potential for this chicken's capability, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
GEORGE W BUSH: We don't care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either for us or against us. There is no middle ground.
TONY BLAIR: I agree with George.
JOHN HOWARD: I agree with George and Tony.
KIM BEAZLEY: There is no challenge to the chicken at this stage, but if I were crossing the road ....
SIMON CREAN: @#@#!!@ Chicken. No one crosses the @#@#!!@ road without my @#@#!!@ say so. It's time for the chicken to put up or shut up.
PETER HOLLINGWORTH: I am not aware of any impropriety in the chicken crossing the road. In fact I am led to believe that it was the other way around and the chicken asked for it.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?/Did he cross it with a toad?/Yes, the chicken crossed the road,/but why it crossed I've not been told.
MARTIN LUTHER KING JR: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, an d that was good enough.
OPRAH: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it felt accomplishing its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens,/crossing all the roads./You may say I'm a dreamer/- but its not the only hen.
MICHAEL JACKSON: There's nothing more wonderful than sharing your bed with a chicken.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX: It was an historic inevitability.
ARSENE WENGER: What chicken? I did not see it.
ALEX FERGUSON: The chicken was not drawn to the other side fairly, and Beckham is not bigger than this club.
SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: eChicken2003 version 1.0 will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your cheque book - and Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not have sexual relations with that chicken!
THE BIBLE: And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
HOMER SIMPSON: Mmmmmmmmm . . . . c h i c k e n